Remember the Opening Statement scene from 'My Cousin Vinny'? The Prosecution lays out his case, finishes, and the camera pans to Joe Pesci... asleep.

He wakes. Walks over to the jury and delivers one of the funniest lines in Movie History:

'Everything that guy said was Bull$h*t, (pause) Thank you.'

That's how I feel when I see a diet trend taking the mainstream.

"There's no such thing as free time. No such thing as spare time. No such thing as down time. Only Lifetime. Go!"- Henry Rollins

What was the recipe?  It was the hours sweating on my mat.  No wait, it was the miles on the treadmill. No wait!  More than anything it was the death of my ego.  

Top Gun: Maverick is a throwback.They wink at great moments from the original.Shirtless volleyball becomes shirtless football.Ice Man is now Hang Man. Goose is Rooster. There are wing men, missile locks, hard ass admirals and great balls of fire.And there's Tom Cruise tearing ass down the runway on his motorcycle; going mach 2 with his hair on fire. I know he's had work done, I know 90 mph presses the flesh right up to the skull, but I still gotta admit: Maverick has aged as well as you can.

WTF?  You hired a trainer?

You just dropped $2 grand on something you could have learned from reading a book and watching a YouTube video. Right?

Why hire a Trainer?  Isn't Training like that scene from The Simpsons where Homer hires Ranier Wolfcastle to train him: "Strap yourself to the abdominator and I will shout slogans at you!  Push!  Harder!"

This morning I lost my balance

I woke up sweating. 4 am. I sat up, stared out the window and the room swirled. Something was amiss.

I went to the bathroom, tried to pee and missed the bowl. Badly. I tried to sit and missed again; falling on my ass.

Was this a hangover. No. I never drink. Covid? Probably not. I had it a few months earlier. Cancer? Oh shit. Don't start with the hypochondria.

Even coaches need coaches, I guess

It's kind of embarrassing when you claim to be an expert on something (fitness/the body) and you can't even fix your own problems.  But hey, even therapists have therapists.  Doctors, I assume, go to the doctor.  Barbers see other barbers.Do Trainers have Trainers?

Let's jumpstart your cardio workouts

Good Day everyone.  It's your Trainer.  I'm not going to watch you do cardio.  We both have better things to do.  Cardio is between you and the jump rope, you and the road, or you and the bike. 

I brought my trainer with me to the Outer Banks. That's her taking me for a beach run at dawn up above.

It has been a truly great week of relaxation here in Corolla NC. Every day I feel more alive and recharged. Seems like an opportune time to talk about rest.

Rest is important. I could write a book on this, but given the confines of newsletter format I'll share three interesting aspects of rest, and throw in some fun quotes about rest/recovery so the content doesn't put you to sleep. Ba-DUM-BUM!

The first step is the hardest...

The first step of a run is the hardest to take.  You give yourself a thousand excuses about why today isn't your day.  It's too hot, too cold, too rainy, your knees hurt, you have a meeting to prep for.

I HATE sit ups but I love the Dead Bug.

Also- I hate the dead bug.

Ok- why do I hate sit-ups? First off it's personal. My parents were killed by a sit up.

Weight loss advice from someone who has recently lost some.

(Click highlighted text for more in depth links)At the start of 2022 I was 216 lbs and 16% body fat.  These were both personal highs.  The kind of record you don't want.  My pants were fitting snug. Last week I measured 204 and 9%.I changed 3 habits.

Life is a contact sport. Day in, day out your body takes a beating.

Your muscles. Your bones. Your ego. The whole shebang.

Today we're gonna focus on joints.

And on something called arthrokinetic dysfunction. (Yes I looked up how to spell that before moving on.)

Arthrokinetic dysfunction is a ten cent phrase I throw out there when I'm wearing my glasses and want to sound smart.

It is also an important concept that you should know a little bit about so you can impress your chiropractor next visit, or Wow your friends at your next get together.

This May we make getting in shape easier.

5 X's easier.

May is approaching. And being that May is the 5th Month of the year it seems the appropriate time to roll out one of my greatest fitness creations. This is a workout I created by accident. I misread a chapter in a book by a guy named Pavel. He's a Russian kettlebell master who can do splits. He seems like a good guy and that just goes to prove my long held theory that not all Russians are evil.

Q: What habit do most thin people share?

A: Fidgeting.

Burning calories while not exercising.

Forget Netflix and Chill. Let's Netflix and fidget.