The Hardest work out
“How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man.” - Bob Dylan*
No matter how fit you get there’s always that voice in your head.
‘How fit am I really?’
It’s innate: we gotta prove ourselves to ourselves ad infinitum.
Workouts are a place to test. Certain workouts/athletic achievements mean something. Their completion signifies to the world that you’ve passed a test, or ‘Walked a road’ in Dylan’s parlance. Complete these and for a day/week/month your fitness is authentic.
Some examples:
Walk these particular roads and you’ve attained an acknowledged fitness bona fide.
I humbly submit a workout of my own creation for inclusion to this notorious club. Ladies and Gents… the 500.
No such thing as tough. Just Trained and untrained.- John Creasy (Man on Fire)
Why 500?
Why the name 500?
Because we did the 300 (named for the 300 spartans at the battle of Thermopylae) workout and decided this one was harder by a magnitude of 200 spartans.
What is the 500?
It’s an ass kicking.
More specifically it is 3 tranches of exercise done non stop for time. It looks like this:
Tranche 1:
Jump Rope :30 (.25 lb rope).
50 foot sled push/pull (45 plate attached).
10 chin-ups
Jump rope :30
100 foot sled push/pull
10 chinups
jump rope :30
150 foot sled push/pull
10 chin-ups.
No rest. Take it up a notch. Add :15 seconds to the jump rope, 45 lbs to the sled, and 2 new strength exercises.
Tranche 2:
Jump rope :45
50 ft sled push/pull (with 2x 45 lb plates)
10 x 25 lb plate overhead front raises
10 x 24” box jumps
Jump rope :45
100 ft sled push/pull
10 x 25 lb plate overhead front raises
10 x 24” box jumps
Jump Rope :45
150 ft sled push/pull
10 x 25 lb plate overhead front raises
10 x 24” box jumps
One more round go. No rest. Take it up another notch. Add another :15 seconds jump rope, another 45 lb plate, and two new strength exercises.
Jump rope :60
50 ft sled push/pull (w 3x45 plates)
20x 35 lb one armed kettlebell swings (10 r, 10l)
10x Bench Press (135 lbs)
Jump rope :60
100 ft sled push/pull (w 3x45 plates)
20x 35 lb one armed kettlebell swings (10 r, 10l)
10x Bench Press (135 lbs)
Jump rope :60
150 ft sled push/pull (w 3x45 plates)
20 35 lb one armed kettlebell swings (10 r, 10l)
10x Bench Press (135 lbs)
That, my friends, is the 500. Complete it and you’ve walked a road.
Ian Macnab is our current World Record holder with a time of 18:58, down from the 38:50 he clocked in his first attempt. It’s his road.
For the time being.
A great time is a wonderful thing, but the primary goal is completion; And that ain’t coming easy.
That looks too hard
I would agree. The great thing about these Workouts is there are progressions built into them: You can run a 5k, then a 10k before taking on a half marathon or marathon; or you can do a saner, scaled down version of the 300 or Navy Seal Pyramid. Start with the regressed version and work your way up. Progress always feels good.
To regress the 500 you can swap out reverse rows for chin-ups, or do lighter sled push, a 12” box jump (instead of 24”) or a DB bench press (in lieu of the 135 bench). Any part of this workout can be regressed (email me and I’ll send you a suitable version, or better yet come see me at the studio).
Completing even the regressed version is going to feel amazing.
That feeling… That feeling makes you vital. It makes you better at work or at home. That feeling is why we take on these hard workouts.
That… and bragging rights. Ian has the bragging rights.
For now.
*Please sub in your gender neutral pronoun of choice. Every gender has to walk a road, but trying to put them all in a catchy song lyric is something not even Dylan could do.